i promised xin i would blog about it

it was a most happening friday night and i thank god for it.
last fri.
i cycled my bike hm from church and thank god nth happened.
met with xin and huey n kevin for A movie.
haha so sad he wanted to watch Rogue Crocodile but tamp n century dint have it.
so we all got stuck with forbidden city.
not a reli nice show. not worth the 10 bucks.
but yea. waiting for dinner.
met them at the fourth floor.
only to find them sitting at the open area.
haha nice clean me made noises and moved them to air-con area.
debated eating places and finally gotten our butts planted at the food court.
even though i had bad impressions of that place,
dinner turned out good that day(:
thank god for food and company.
im still missing subway
kaysen!
shared my wonderful story of how kaysen murdered my eraser.
he's so cute tho and the apple of kevin's eye.
so proud i built him a hse to slp last wk.
but he wanted to murder my eraser again this aftn just before naptime.
haha.

yes yes!
and we walked into the cinema,
with much anticipation.
and talked plenty of rubbish during the show.
relating characters and events that happened to the scc kids and lord of the rings.
poor huey was caught in btw me n kevin who was yakking away about every other thing.
xin and i were sharing secret laughs about LOTR.
we al walked out on a rather high note.
mostly enjoying ourselves cos of the company
and someone.
suggested watching another movie.
cant remb who.
hah!
we all started lk.
ok! dont mind dont mind.
and we saw kev's fren fm mission trip who had 2 bucks off!
so we paid 8 dllars for our nt mvie.
supp to watch awake.
but oh ho.
huey culdn mk it so we sent her down to wait for her parents.
smart us stood in the middle of the entrance to the toilet and the lift.
debating whether to tk the escalator or lift.
haha.
who knows.

we stepped into the lift.
kevin in the corner, me den xin on my left.
all the way to the back.
a pregnant lady got in.
a kid, and many other ppl.
yay! midnight movie!!
the lift went up all the way to the "4".
the 3 of us oblivion,
totally feeling so high and mad tt we're watching a second movie.
and .
the lift door couldn open.
the "4" remained.
and then it started to flicker.
and down it went in a series of mild jerks.
the lift no flashed "--"
we were all talking rubbish and trying reli hard to contain ourselves.
thank god.
the lift didnt plunge all the way down.
we went all the way to B3.
thank god it didnt plunge down.
we immediately 'eh better pray"
someone called the intercom.
half an hr!
the 3 of us i think were prob the calmest and yet insane ppl arn.
xin took out her bible,
we tried flipping to a random page and read a verse to see if any applied to us.
kevin told us about oprah being reli scary and the possible anitchrist.
we started introducing ourselves among the 3 of us,
"orientation"
and talking so much rubbish to lighten the atmosphere by jus being ourselves.
and yay!
half an hr ltr,
thank god the technician came(:
our lift ws stuck half-three-quarter way and so we had to climb a little out of the lift.
never had any of us ever anticipate this to happen.
but such a one in a lifetime event that
i'm really thankful i had xin n kev with me.
and of course,
you.
who totally made a world of difference.
late for the movie.
and ended up watching street kings.
quite a sad and serious show with good but predictable plot.
just had to wash my ears alot due to explicit lang used.
many other stuff tt happend like our "mtg"
when we felt GV shuld have given out complimentary tickets.
but oh well.
im too lazy to type them out.
-gives a wink to my tuck-in-lift buddies-



i feel like im losing you,
or some part of me.
these days are drifting on and on.
without much pause.
or am i blurring the images out in my mind?
havent been home in quite some time.
but it feels good to have the guitar in hand and
playing it.
i miss the guitar.
missing many things right now.
wishing for many things.
too many things i have not done.
promises made and not fulfilled.


this thing that is broken inside,
only you can.



next tues is ben and jerry's day.
but i can't meet with char and guno.
totally saddens me.


interviews have been alright.
teaching award and nursing.
god, open the door for me.
im suddenly so tired of life.
filling up the survey this morn,
"do you find life meaningless or full of meaning?"
you give me meaning to life.

i wouldnt be the same
without you.

perhaps and maybes.
hopes and wishes.
hold loosely to such.





my soul is weak
my heart is not
i cannot see
but still my hopeis found in you
i hold on tightly you will never let me go
jesus you will never fail
simply to the cross i cling
letting go of all earthly things
i'm clinging to the cross
mercy's found a way for me
hope is here
i am free
jesus you are all i need
i'm clinging to the cross


the wait makes the heart stronger.

Labels: clinging to the cross-

9:36 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

YOUTH CAMP 2008
CAMP GOLGOTHA-wanted: dead and alive.

11:58 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

was a MAD NIGHT last night.

went over to uncle noel's hse for dinner!!
lydia cooked pineapple rice and curry chicken!!
was so good i tell you.
lala and i did the dishes and we just went so mad.
i hi-fived her shirt with a wet hand and she chased me out of the kitchen.
scream i did.
what a mad rush!
i held my hands up high in the air
and rushed down the steps,
taking extreme care not to fall down
(because it would really be malooating).
i turned, hoping i had lost sight of lala,
who was just a few centimetres behind me.
realising that my hopes were dashed (and broken and whatever have you,)
i collasped onto the floor
thinking i had the ability of shadowcat to disappear into the walls.
but alas!
i could not!
and lala collapsed onto me.
the hysteric monster of laughter caught up with us
and we sat and lay on the floor
thankfully hidden behind the sofa
from the stares and laughter of uncle noel, lydia and jon
and succumbed to the uncontrollable laughing.

den came dessert which uncle noel prepared.
ice cream and fruit salad.
his fruit salad:
fresh cut fruits with orange juice.
wa i felt so healthy i tell you.
he just inspired me to have my own restaurant.
but the ice cream.
heh.
lydia and jon n lala gave me that look.
its so fattening but at the same time,
it tasted so good.
uncle noel's son came in then to join us for dessert.
thank god i didnt collapse at the door when he came in.

haha.

than came dishwashing again.
lala and i were so full
and we would hardly stand straight.
instead we were bent over at the sink,
desperately trying hard not to laugh at our retardedness.
she fell to the ground afew times
laughing cause we really looked so hilarious.
hehe.
den came my favorite part.
she leaned on me for support while washing the cups.
i was soaping and had the really innocent-looking sponge in my hand.
then!!
the sponge flew into lala's face,
missing her eyes thankfully
by a feww centimetres,
landing squarely onto her mouth and cheeks.
immediately,
i covered my face and prepared my ears for,
"CARON!!!!!
then came the attack of the soapy-lala.
down came her hand and elbow with soap onto my face,
and hair.
and i once again attempted to disappear into the ground.
it was accompanied by much hysterical laughter and
"caron!! aiyooo!"
from lydia and jon and lala.
uncle noel!
i'm so sorry we made such a din in your house.
and for wetting the floor.

the next gathering,
lala and i are cooking.
oh my!
what a fiesta that would be.

then came the living room.
the newspaper had the headlines:
WHAT WRONG DID I DO?
spurred by the moment,
i picked up the guitar,
and started strumming.
and gave in to my horrible singing of
"what wrong did i do?"
the rest gave in to fits of giggles and laughter.
haha.
i'm proud of my new song.((:
i even made lydia tear imaginatively.

what madness.
oh man.

im grinning to myself.

uncle noel said he was overwhelmed by having dinner at his house on tuesday night.
and there wasn't even any dishwashing then yet.
i wonder what must he be thinking now.

lydia can be so violent.
she whacked me with the baguette first thing when she saw me.
hit me when i sat beside her, aftr i let out a burp.
(lala let out so much more than i did)
and gave me so many looks.
does burping really turn guys away?
maybe i should start being more decent and refined.
hurr.
she says i would nv get a boyfriend at the rate i'm going.
haah ackx to that.
i stood on my stand that "IM SINGLE AND UNAVAILABLE"
and the table burst out laughing.
i wonder why???
she imagined on my wedding day
i would burp "i do"
and ehh. im not so gross cannn.

on 15th april,
lydia agreed to dance "ali baba" on my wedding day to open the door for me((:
uncle noel rembs(:

and god,
uve been so so awesome.
u close doors huh?
and open new ones.
i really need to seek you to find direction.
let me fall more in love with you everyday.

and everyday,
i feel my heart going out to the kids more and more.
how blessed i am.

break my heart from what breaks yours.
open up my eyes to the things i see.
show me how to love like you
have loved me.
as i walk from earth until
eternity.


// speechless.

or left in awe of you.

and i'm still waiting.

keep waiting
because it's worth the wait.
keep persevering
because it's worth the endurance.


love you jesus.

Labels: anyone wants me to do dishwashing???

10:42 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i love chocolate.
and that's bad.
ive been binging on chocs and eating so much,
i can seriously feel the calories and me putting on weight
and my throat giving way.

i need discipline and self-control to stop eating so much.
i guess when work starts i'll stop my weird eating habits.
hopefully.
i'm going to start eating healthily again
because i'm to take care of this temple of the holy spirit.

and i'm at peace.

when God doesn't want you to go there,
he will close the door.
but when he opens it,
you will know.
deep down in your heart.

that broke the dam that was holding everything in.
the wave of emotions that just flowed.
and once more,
just to hear you say,
i'm pleased with you,
i love you.
simply blows me away.

Worship shows us our sins,
makes us come undone.
completely exposed.
intimacy is sharing your heart,
opening up to every weakness that you have.

God, i'm going to fight for intimacy with you.

thank u.

when silence falls,
you'll be the song in my heart.

5:05 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

dear people:
dearest lydiaa and my buddy!!


my dearest brother(:


announcement: caronkoh is not leaving on thurs.
trip dates: 8-18th may

trip is postponed due to a number of reasons.
don't ask at the present moment cos im kinda tired.

im seeking u god.

who are you, God?
what do you want me to do?

my bestie: ginny dearest and charrr.




not going back,moving ahead
trying my best to surrender.
everything.

it's so hard.
the old ways, the old habits.
leaning on, depending on my own wisdom,
on the ways of man.
argh.
why am i here at this place again?

i don't want to depend on man, lord.
its so hard.
help me to turn to you instead.

here to declare
that the past is over.

beholding your beauty
is all that i long for
to worship you jesus
is my soul's desire
for this very heart
you have shaped for your pleasure
the purpose
to lift your name high


i thank you god for keeping me safe
when i cycled to pasir ris and church today.
so many accidents could have happened.
thank you for giving me life.
the breath of life.
that i could breathe even tho the air arn bedok was so dusty.
i thank you for giving me the sense of taste.
i thank you for giving me laughter.
the ability to feel, and have emotions.
i pray that i would never turn away from you.
that i would keep falling in love with you,
over and over again.

show me how to wait upon you.
to renew my strength in you.
to be desperate for you,
hungry for you.

my mind is running over a thousand thoughts.
help me to be still,
to rest and be content.

you make me lie down
in green pastures
you make me wanting for nothing
you feel my hunger
with honey from your sweet sweet words
you let me worship before you
so i can love and adore you
you are my shepherd
you are my jesus
you are my lord

gilbert sang it during one of the tl sessions.
i never forget it.
lead me lord,
my shepherd.
my jesus.
lead me beside still waters
and let me lie down in green pastures.
away from the cares of this world.




you still captivate me.

12:22 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

Dear Lord,
I thank you for this day.
I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.
I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God.
You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything I have done,
said or thought that was not pleasing to you.
I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day with a new attitude
and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each
and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper
over things I have no control over.
Let me continue to see sin
through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil.
And when I sin,
let me repent,
and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing,
and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me,
let me remember Jesus' example --
to slip away
and find a quiet place to pray.
It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know that when I can't pray,
You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me
to do Your will.

Continue to bless me
that I may be a blessing to others.
Keep me strong
that I may help the weak.
Keep me uplifted
that I may have words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those who are lost
and can't find their way.
I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood.
I pray for those who don't know You intimately.
I pray for those who don't believe.


I believe that God changes people
and God changes things.
I pray for all my brothers and sisters.
For each and every family member in their households.
I pray for peace,
love and joy
in their homes
that they are out of debt
and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this
knows there is no problem,
circumstance, or situation
greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands
for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received
into the hearts of every eye that sees them
and every mouth that confesses them willingly.

This is my prayer.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

7:46 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

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all the brothers and sisters

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of old.

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credits.

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wonderful people

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